Why People Don't Get You (And It's Not Their Fault)
Why People Don't Get You (And It's Not Their Fault)
Behind every smile lies a universe of unseen struggles.
Dear Unlearner
The loudest screams often happen in soundproof rooms.
Your mind is that room, bursting with thoughts and feelings. Your inner world is written in invisible ink. It’s crystal clear to you, but completely hidden from everyone else. You know yourself mostly from the voice in your head.
You often feel misunderstood.
You feel like people don't get your struggle. They don't see the late nights, the self-doubt, the constant battle between your ambitions and your anxieties. They can't feel the weight of expectations you've placed on yourself.
You feel like people don't see your efforts. The world sees the final product, the polished presentation. They don't see the hundred drafts, the failed attempts, the moments of frustration. They don't witness the countless hours of practice, the sacrifices made, the opportunities foregone. They don't know about the times you've wanted to give up but pushed through anyway.
You feel like people don't care about your feelings. Most people are too caught up in their own feelings to care about yours. They're dealing with their own struggles, fighting their own battles. Your emotional rollercoaster is a solo ride, and sometimes it feels like no one's even watching. They don't see the hurt behind your smile, the anxiety behind your confidence, the loneliness behind your social media posts.
You feel like people don't see your vulnerability. They see the brave face you put on, the strength you show to the world. They don't see you crying in the shower or the fears that keep you up at night. They don't know about the insecurities you battle daily.
Most people don't really care about you. They are selfish. They won't put in extra effort to dig into your inner world. They only start seeing when you start showing.
Everyone else in the world knows you only by your actions. They can't read your thoughts. They only see what you choose to show them, what you do, what you say.
Remember this when you feel misunderstood. You have to do or say something for others to know how you feel. Your thoughts might be in invisible ink, but your words and actions are not. They're written in permanent marker for all to see.
It's scary. It's vulnerable. It's risky. Opening up means exposing yourself to potential judgment, criticism, or rejection. It means letting people see the messy, imperfect parts of you that you usually keep hidden.
But it is the only way to connect your internal world and the external one. It's the bridge between your rich inner life and the reality others perceive.
The only way to truly be understood, to be seen, is to make yourself visible.
It's not easy, but it's worth it. Because in the end, we're all just trying to be understood.
And don't forget, keep the people who go the extra mile to understand you close. They are one in a million.
Stay visible,
Cammi
More to Unlearn
The Misunderstood Villain: How 'Bad Guys' Achieve Extraordinary Success
The Lazy Person’s Guide to Outsmarting Overachievers
Beyond Minimalism: How Maximal Minimalism Can Enhance Your Life
If You Want to Be Successful, Learn How to Steal
Doubling down on the hard, intensive work that so many people put in to create a “polished presentation” that never gets seen. I’ve witnessed so many creators, writers, and people with great ideas stop doing what they’re doing because no one ever sees it (often due to algorithms out of anyone’s control). I disagree when they tell me they’re closing up shop, but It’s hard for me to blame them as you can only talk into a void for so long with no answer. I’m sure there are people out there who’d love to answer (and value the content) but they never even had a chance to see the presentation.
Making yourself visible can be exhausting with so many platforms with evolving technology and demands for content that take us away from work. Moreover, it can be a hostile, scary place for women. When I was on TV, I was seen by millions, but it did not require constant self promotion. PR people did that. Internal promo people too. We had stylists and the larger stations had makeup and hair. All that allowed the talent to do the work. How does one remain see pn and have a life in the current online ecosystem? The only way I could see that happening is hiring someone to manage social media. I have yet to find that person.