The Two Questions That Matter in Every Big Decision
The funny thing about life-changing decisions? We often focus on the things that won't actually change our lives.
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Dear Unlearners,
I spent years traveling around the world, searching for the perfect place to call home. I walked the neon-lit streets of Tokyo, breathed in the crisp mountain air of Switzerland, felt the pulsing energy of New York City, and soaked in the romantic charm of Parisian boulevards.
Each city has its own charm - the efficient public transport, the breathtaking views, the amazing food scenes, the perfect weather. I kept a mental score of these surface pleasures, thinking they'd add up to "home."
But you know what? They didn't.
This reminds me of how we often get caught up in life's big decisions, like choosing a college - focusing on all the wrong things that seem so important at the time.
I remember being a 17-year-old touring college campuses, overwhelmed by endless choices. I got distracted by the beautiful buildings, the impressive sports facilities, the variety of clubs, and the perfect weather.
Years later, I found myself doing the same thing with cities: rating them on their coffee shops, sunset views, weekend markets. Just like that teenager obsessing over campus aesthetics.
But here's what I learned after all those miles:
It always comes down to the people.
The most beautiful city feels empty without the right community. The most efficient transport system means nothing if you're traveling alone. The perfect weather loses its charm when you have no one to share it with.
Every major life decision really comes down to two essential questions:
Are the people in this environment the kind of people you want to become?
Does the system in place push you toward becoming the person you hope to be?
That's it. Everything else is just noise.
A vibrant city isn't vibrant because of its architecture; it's the people and culture they create together.
A great school isn't exceptional because of its buildings; it's the teachers' dedication and learning environment they nurture.
A successful company isn't great because of free snacks; it's the values it lives by and the people it develops.
This framework extends beyond college choices or finding a home. When choosing a job, joining a gym, or selecting a social circle, the same two questions matter: the people and the system.
The fancy office perks? The trendy neighborhood cafes? The gym with the latest equipment? They're nice to have, but not the heart of the matter.
We often make decisions based on who we are today, focusing on immediate comfort and surface-level appeal. But the truly important choices aren't about the present you; they're about the future you're trying to build.
A job isn't just a paycheck; it's an environment that shapes who you'll become.
A city isn't just a location; it's a system that influences your lifestyle.
A social circle isn't just for weekend fun; it's a force that molds your perspectives.
Life's big decisions feel overwhelming because they're about transformation. They're not about finding what fits you now, but about choosing the environment that will shape you into who you want to become.
So next time you're facing a major decision, pause. Notice how many details you're weighing that don't actually matter. Strip away the noise. Focus on the people and the system.
Because while the perfect weather might make you feel good today, it's the people around you who shape who you'll be tomorrow.
Until tomorrow,
Cammi
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There's nothing like living, working, or being educated in a place you don't like. It is a soul sucking endeavor. Great words Cammi. Hope it helps someone. Luckily I am past all of that and I really like where I live. :)