Dear unlearners,
The world isn't broken. It just values different things in different places
You're a 10 in your small town. Everyone knows your name. You're the successful one, the good-looking one, the one people point to.
Then you move to New York. Suddenly, you're a 5. Maybe a 6 on a good day.
Same person. Different pond. Different scale.
Every community has its own rating system.
Your hometown values being friendly and showing up to everything.
New York values edge and achievement.
Silicon Valley values innovation and network connections.
Your college campus valued being popular and fun.
Graduate school values being smart and curious.
The mistake we make is expecting our rating from one place to transfer everywhere else.
The small-town star thinks their charm should work on Wall Street.
The Ivy League graduate assumes their degree impresses everyone.
The Instagram model expects her looks to command respect in the boardroom.
It doesn't work that way.
When your rating drops, you have two choices.
You can get bitter about the "unfairness" of it all. You can complain that people don't see your obvious worth. You can blame the new place for having different standards. This is usually our default reaction. I've been there many times.
Or you can
Get curious.
What does this place value? What makes someone a 10 here?
The startup world rates hustle and ideas. The art scene rates creativity and authenticity. The finance world rates results and connections.
Once you understand the rating system, you decide: Do I want to play this game?
Maybe you do.
Maybe you don't.
Maybe you'd rather find a pond where you're already a 10.
But stop expecting every place to rate you the same way as the last one.
The world isn't unfair. It just has different scorecards.
Your job isn't to demand they change their rating system. Your job is to decide which game you want to play.
Until next time,
Cammi
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I always get so much out of your newsletters. This one is no exception. Many thanks. We can all benefit from understanding which pond to swim in or adjusting to a different one.
You hit the nail on the head: it’s a game one wants to play on the world stage. And curiosity didn’t kill the cat … ignorance and stagnation did! Lolz 🤣