Past, Present, Future: The 3 Friends Shaping Your Destiny
Past, Present, Future: The 3 Friends Shaping Your Destiny
Most of us believe friendships are forever when they are only temporary.
Please hit the ā¤ļø āLikeā button at the top or bottom of this article if you enjoy it. It helps others find this article.
Dear Unlearners,
Friendship is a journey, not a destination. Along the way, we meet different types of friends who shape our path in unexpected ways.
A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." - Elbert Hubbard
Everyone in life has 3 types of friends: past, present, and future.
Past Friends
These people are reminders of your journey's earlier chapters. They remind you of where you have been. They might be long-time friends or brief encounters, each representing a closed chapter in your life story.
As you collect life experiences and grow, sometimes you outgrow people. It's nobody's fault, just life. You start wanting different things, seeing the world through new eyes.
But even if you're not close anymore, these people still matter. They helped shape who you are. They remind you how far you've come. They're like bookmarks in your life story, helping you reflect on your growth and the old versions of yourself you've left behind.
It is a good reminder to not forget to appreciate the roles of these people in your life. Without the past, there is no present. Always appreciate your past.
In moments when you lose yourself in success, power, or fame, you might have to go back to the past to search for who you were.
Once in a while, you might meet someone new who reminds you of your past. These people's present is living proof of what your life could have been if you hadn't changed course. They reflect the path not taken. This shows you the contrast between who you were and who you've become.
Adding them into yourself might drag you back to the past. We can grow forward or backward. It is a choice. Not everyone should be in your lives.
Past friends keep you grounded, reminding you of your roots even as you continue to grow and change. They're not just memories, but part of your journey. They help you appreciate where you've been as you navigate where you're going.
Every relationship has an expiration date. We have to learn to appreciate the good times we had and then move on when it's time.
If after 10 or 20 years, your friend group hasn't changed a bit, it might be time to ask yourself if you've been growing at all. This is one of the most common mistakes people make. Most of us believe friendships are forever when they are mostly only temporary.
Life's about change and progress. It's great to have long-lasting friendships. But if nothing's changed in your social circle for decades, you might be stuck in a comfort zone.
It doesn't mean you need to ditch your old mates, but maybe you're missing out on new perspectives and experiences. Growth often means meeting new people who challenge you and bring fresh ideas to the table. If they donāt, move on.
Remember, it's not about replacing your old friends, but expanding your world.
If you're the same person with the same crowd after all these years, ask yourself: Have I been playing it too safe?
Present Friends
Your present friends are the ones who get what you're going through. When you're stressed about work, relationship drama, or just trying to figure yourself out, they're right there with you. You're all in this crazy life together.
Unlike friends from the past, these relationships are always changing. You're growing together, learning from each other's experiences, and shaping each other's perspectives. They reflect your current values, aspirations, and lifestyle choices.
These friends also serve as mirrors, showing you aspects of yourself you might not see otherwise. Most of us forget this. Having bad present friends will affect your future. Having good ones will change for future for the better.
In a world that's constantly changing, these friends provide a sense of stability and belonging. We canāt choose the family we were born into. But we can choose our chosen family.
But at some point, you will move faster and slowly start to outgrow them. The more often this happens, the faster you are growing. Successful people are constantly edit their circle.
Future friends
These are the people you aspire to be like, the ones who've already walked the path you're aiming for. They're not in your inner circle yet, but they represent your goals and ambitions.
The relationship between Socrates and Plato is a classic example. Socrates was Plato's teacher and mentor, representing the kind of thinker and person Plato aspired to be. Plato learned from Socrates, was inspired by him, and eventually became a great philosopher in his own right. Your future friends, like Socrates was to Plato, are the ones who inspire you to reach your full potential.
Future friends have been through the struggles you're facing now and come out the other side. Maybe it's that entrepreneur who built the kind of business you dream of, or the artist who's mastered the skills you're working on. They're living proof that your goals are possible.
These future friends aren't just about success, though. They're about growth. They've faced challenges you haven't hit yet, learned lessons you're still figuring out. When you see them, you see a version of yourself you're working towards.
You always need to be working on making these future friends a reality. We're the average of the five people we spend the most time with. You want to be the least knowledgeable, the least successful person in your group.
If you're always surrounded by people who are further along than you, who've achieved more, who know more, you're constantly learning and growing. You're pushed to level up just to keep up. It's like playing tennis with someone better than you. Your game improves faster.
These future friends challenge your thinking, expand your horizons, and show you what's possible. They've faced challenges you haven't hit yet and learned lessons you're still figuring out. When you're around them, you see a version of yourself you're working towards.
But making these connections isn't always easy. It can be uncomfortable, but that discomfort is where the growth happens. Nothing worth having comes easy. The difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful one is the price you are willing to pay.
The person you need to be most loyal to is yourself. You've moved on from your past friends to be with your present friends. If you want to grow more, you will need to move on from the present to embrace the future.
Past + Present + Future = Life
There is no present without the past.
There is no past without future.
There is no future without present.
In life, we need all three types of friends.
They each play a crucial role in our journey, and the balance between them shifts as we move through different stages of life.
Past friends ground us, reminding us of where we've been and how far we've come.
Present friends support us through our current challenges and celebrate our daily wins.
Future friends inspire us, showing us what's possible and pushing us to grow.
As we navigate life's stages, we'll find ourselves allocating our time differently among these friends:
In the growth stage, we might lean heavily on present friends for support and future friends for inspiration, while occasionally touching base with past friends to remember our roots.
As we scale, we might spend more time with future friends, learning from their experiences, while maintaining strong bonds with present friends and cherishing occasional reunions with past friends.
In times of success, we might find ourselves becoming the 'future friend' for others, spending more time mentoring and giving back, while still nurturing our present friendships and honoring our past connections.
The key is to recognize the value each type of friend brings to our lives and to maintain a healthy balance.
As Woodrow Wilson once said,
"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."
Only you can pick which time period you want to live in right now.
Past.
Present.
Future.
Until tomorrow,
Cammi
Please hit the ā¤ļø āLikeā button below if you enjoyed this post, it helps others find this article. If youāre a Substack writer and have been enjoying Daily Unlearner, consider adding it to your recommendations. Your support means the world.
More to Unlearn
When Overthinking Becomes Toxic
The Triple City Trap: Are You Stuck in the Wrong City of Life?
Hi Cammi, you may need to edit some words like tapestry woven since its a dead give away regarding using AI generated pieces of writing. Try some paraphrasing tools or add in more of your personal experiences. Good luck.
I would use the term stages or phases when describing the types of friendships made over the years. My reasoning and logic are that as we go through life from childhood to adulthood, we form and establish friendships in each different phase or stage of our life.
Our past friends could be the ones we grew up playing childhood games and as comrades in mischief. In our teenage years, our many first loves would be different with special kinds of friends.
In our later stages, we nurture and cultivate different types of friendships, depending on the nature or complexity of the relationship whether itās in business, mature love, trustworthy and confidant(bestie), platonic, and acquaintances.
But no matter how you view friendships, they are valuable and worthwhile.