Modern Parenting: Why You Should Crush Your Children
Modern Parenting: Why You Should Crush Your Children
In the grand chess game of life, are we raising pawns or queens?
"Amore, I want my daughter to be exactly like you."
"Don't, she won't have a good life. Smart women often don't finish first," I replied with an attitude.
"Her path will be smoothly carved, don't you worry about that. Why do you think I still work 15 hours a day?"
I said nothing and sighed.
That is the difference between him and me.
Parenting isn't about giving your kids everything you never had; it's about teaching them everything you never knew.
He wants to give her the best, I want to prepare her for the worst. It scares me that he will give her too much. It made me think about how I am going to raise my children.
1. How To Survive
It is easy to learn how to spend money, it’s harder to learn how to keep money. But it is even harder to learn how to survive.
I want to throw my children into the most difficult situations, I want to crush them into pieces. Because I want to make sure nothing can crush them again in the future.
Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.
- Josephine Hart
My children need to know how to feed themselves when they are penniless. My children need to know how to be flexible and get themselves out of difficult situations. Life is like the wind, it doesn't just go in one direction. Power changes hands all the time.
You cannot be the change you want to see in the world... unless you can survive.
If one day they need to bribe someone to save their sibling's life, they need to be able to do it. My children need to know how to pick themselves up off the floor.
2. Invest In People
Most people want to bring their kids to the best places, I want to bring them to the poorest and most complicated areas. I want them to see the real world outside their bubbles; they need to understand their responsibilities.
Two thousand years ago, during the Warring States Period, China was divided into 7 states: Qin, Chu, Qi, Yan, Han, Wei, and Zhao.
One day Lü Buwei, a wealthy merchant saw a rare investment opportunity. He came home and asked his father,
“Father, what is the profit on investment that one can expect from plowing fields?”
“Ten times the original investment,” his father replied.
“And the return on investment in pearls and jades is how much?”
“A hundred times.”
“What about investing in a person?”
His father replied with a smile, “That will be beyond an estimate.”
Lu Buwei had a vision, he was willing to bet his wealth, career, family and life on a long-term investment. Because he recognized the value of investing in a person, he became the most powerful person in China. He raised Qin Shi Huang, the first emperor of China who unified the country for the first time and changed China’s history.
Money, power and fame all fade, only kindness will last. I want them to always treat people the way they want to be treated. Invest in people. If one out of all the people they help, remembers and helps them when they struggle, it is a good investment.
3. Learn. Unlearn. Relearn.
My children should never believe everything they see, hear and read. They need to learn to make their own judgements. Don't bother learning unless they can unlearn.
The illiterate of the 21st Century are not those who cannot read and write but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.”
- Alvin Toffle
It is more dangerous to know the wrong information than to know nothing.
My children need to earn everything they will have and know how to survive. It is hard to build a legacy, but it is harder to keep it. Only tough people can survive.
Money can buy a lot of things, but often it cannot buy what you want the most. Love, attention and time are often wanted more. Not everyone realizes that.
In the end, parenting is not about shielding our children from all the darkness and hardship of the world. It is about preparing them to face it themselves. Our goal isn't to create perfect children; even we are not perfect.
Nor should we force them to live out the dreams we couldn't achieve. Instead, we need to let them learn from our mistakes and be themselves.
Perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children is the belief that they are strong enough to fall and get back up, smart enough to learn from their mistakes, and brave enough to keep moving forward, no matter what.
In the words of Kahlil Gibran:
"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you."
Our task is not to determine their path, but to give them the tools to carve their own path.
In the end, that is the true measure of our success as parents.
More to Unlearn
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The Unexpected Hangover: What I Learned When I Stopped Drinking
The Shocking Truth About Digital Nomad Life People Don't Tell You
"Parenting isn't about giving your kids everything you never had; it's about teaching them everything you never knew.". Beautiful.
It touches me deeply, because that is precisely what I try to do with my daughter. By all means, follow this article and relearn how chldren should be crushed.
This article is great. Full of wisdom. Thanks again, Cammi 🔥
Forget about pawns or queens- we should just put our kids in Kumon! The lessons they will learn from it.