Alone vs Lonely

If you can’t be alone, you’ll always feel lonely.

Dear unlearners,

People use "alone" and "lonely" like they mean the same thing.

They don't.

• Being alone is a physical state. No one else in the room.

• Being lonely is emotional. Feeling disconnected even in a crowd.

You can be surrounded by people and feel completely isolated. You can be by yourself and feel perfectly content.

Loneliness comes from comparison. From scrolling through social feeds and believing everyone else is more connected. From assuming the couple at dinner is happier than you eating solo.

Aloneness can be freedom. Time to think without someone else's opinions. Space to create without judgment. Permission to recharge without performing.

Most people avoid being alone because they think it will make them lonely. They fill every moment with noise, people, distractions.

But here's the trap: if you can't be comfortable alone, you'll always be lonely around others. You'll need constant validation. Constant company. Constant proof that you matter.

Learning to be alone is the cure fo…