20 Things You Need to Unlearn to Be Successful
Why smart people stay poor (and how to avoid their mistakes)
Dear Unlearners,
Most self-help articles tell you what to learn. Today, let's talk about what you need to unlearn. Sometimes, the problem isn't what we don't know, it's what we think we know that just isn't true.
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler.
Here are the most important things I had to unlearn, and maybe you should too.
1. Unlearn "Follow Your Passion"
The most toxic advice ever given. Following your passion doesn't pay bills. Instead, become really good at something valuable, and passion will follow. I hated email marketing when I started. Now I love it because I'm good at it and it makes money.
2. Unlearn "Hard Work is Everything"
Working hard is important, but working smart is crucial. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful people who are hardworkers. The janitor works harder than the CEO. The difference? The CEO's decisions affect thousands of people. Impact matters more than effort.
3. Unlearn "More Hours = More Success"
I used to work 16-hour days and brag about it. Stupid. Now I work smarter and get more done by focusing on high-impact tasks. Your brain isn't designed for marathon work sessions of low-value busy work. One hour of focused, strategic work beats 10 hours of mindless tasks.
4. Unlearn "Be Nice to Everyone"
Not everyone deserves your kindness. Some people are energy vampires who'll drain you dry. Be professional, but save your genuine kindness for those who reciprocate. I've never regretted cutting toxic people from my life.
5. Unlearn "Perfect Timing"
There's no perfect time to start. The best time was yesterday. The second best time is now. I waited years for the "perfect moment" to write again. Guess what? It never came. I just had to jump.
6. Unlearn "Failure is Bad"
Failure isn't the opposite of success. It's part of success. BUT only if you learn from it. Failing the same way twice is just being stupid. I've failed more times than I can count, but each failure taught me something new. The key is to fail forward. Let each failure make you smarter, tougher, and better prepared for success. If you're not learning from your failures, you're just collecting disappointments.
7. Unlearn "You Need Everyone to Like You"
If everyone likes you, you're doing something wrong. Having strong opinions means some people won't like you. That's fine. Better to be respected than liked.
8. Unlearn "Good Things Come to Those Who Wait"
Good things come to those who go out and take them. Patience is overrated when it comes to pursuing your goals. The world rewards action, not waiting.
9. Unlearn "Stay in Your Lane"
Your lane is wherever you decide to drive. People love to say "stay in your lane" when they're scared of trying something new. This "lane" mentality is nonsense created by people who want to keep you small. The only limits are the ones you accept. Smart people know that success often comes from the intersections between different fields. Some of the most successful people I know never stayed in their lane—they created new ones. They combined skills nobody thought to combine. They went where others said they shouldn't. The next time someone tells you to stay in your lane, take it as a sign you're doing something right.
10. Unlearn "Keep Your Ideas Secret"
Ideas are worthless without execution. Nobody's going to steal your idea because most people are too lazy to execute anyway. Share your ideas. The feedback you get is worth more than the secrecy.
11. Unlearn "Money Is Evil"
Money is a tool, nothing more. It's not good or evil. It just amplifies what's already there. Poor people love to demonize money to feel better about not having it. Don't fall for this trap.
12. Unlearn "Age Matters"
Too young? Too old? These are excuses. I've seen 20-year-olds build million-dollar companies and 60-year-olds learn to code. Age is just a number unless you make it your identity.
13. Unlearn "Life Should Be Fair"
Life isn't fair. Never has been, never will be. Once you accept this, you can stop complaining and start adapting. Use the unfairness to your advantage.
14. Unlearn "You Need Permission"
Nobody's going to give you permission to live your dreams. You don't need a degree, certification, or anyone's approval to start. Just start.
15. Unlearn "Networking Means Having a Large Network"
Your network is not a Pokémon Go game,you don't need to catch them all. Most networkers spend time trying to meet everyone. I'd rather have 5 people who would pick up my call at 3 AM than 500 who'd leave me on read. The size of your network means nothing if nobody in it would actually help you when you need it.
16. Unlearn "Comfort is Good"
Comfort is the enemy of growth. If you're comfortable, you're not pushing hard enough. Every major breakthrough in my life came after a period of severe discomfort.
17. Unlearn "Being Busy Means Being Productive"
Busy is the new stupid. Anyone can be busy. The real skill is knowing what to focus on and what to ignore. I do less now but achieve more.
18. Unlearn "Knowledge is Power"
Applied knowledge is power. Reading 100 books means nothing if you don't apply what you learn. One book that you actually implement is worth more than a library you just read.
19. Unlearn "You Need to Have It All Figured Out"
Nobody has it all figured out. We're all just making educated guesses. The difference is some people act despite the uncertainty, while others wait for certainty that never comes.
20. Unlearn "Success Means Being Happy All the Time"
Success often means being uncomfortable, stressed, and challenged. That's okay. Growth isn't always pleasant, but it's always worth it.
The hardest part about unlearning isn't the unlearning itself. It's admitting that what you believed might be wrong. But here's the thing: the sooner you unlearn these limiting beliefs, the sooner you can replace them with beliefs that serve you better.
What beliefs are holding you back? What do you need to unlearn?
Remember, the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Start unlearning today.
Until tomorrow,
Cammi
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More to Unlearn
Modern Parenting: Why You Should Crush Your Children
Beyond Minimalism: How Maximal Minimalism Can Enhance Your Life
The Diminishing Returns of Experience
25 Questions That Will Make You Rethink Your Entire Life
Why Your Morning Routine Is Making You Miserable
7 Stories That Will Make You Rethink Life
Why Most People's Definition of Success Will Make Them Miserable
Good collection that will hopefully save your readers time, since a lot of folks learn these the hard way, slowly, over many years. I might add one more, which I'm still trying to figure out quite how to say, but basically it's an extension of Knuth's "Premature optimization is the root of all evil" maxim.
It's that we need to learn to avoid over-optimization (of which premature optimization is one type). We're taught in school to do everything to perfection, and of course perfectionism is terrible advice for the real world. But even short of perfectionism, there can still be a lingering tendency to over-optimize things that just aren't significant enough to matter.
Most of the time, there's only a few things that really need to be optimized, in order to progress steadily.