I often ask New Yorkers which decade was the best era in New York. Every single time, the answer is the decade when they were in their 20s. Most of the time, they don't even realize it.

I asked myself the same question.

My favorite time in New York was before the pandemic. People and things haven't felt the same after. Something is missing.

Then I realized my 30th birthday was a few days before quarantine kicked off. My favorite era of New York is when I was in my 20s.

This isn't just about New York. Ask anyone about their favorite decade in any city, and you'll get the same answer. The best time was always when they were young, broke, and stupid. There's a reason for that.

Your body hasn't betrayed you yet

In your 20s, your body is still on your side. You can drink until 3 AM, sleep for four hours, and somehow look decent at work. You can eat pizza for breakfast without your stomach staging a revolt.

Your back doesn't ache when you wake up. Your knees don't creak going up sta…

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You might be wondering why I'm calling you "unlearners." Well, it's simple. To truly grow, we often need to unlearn what we think we know. And today, we are going to unlearn:

Our perception of villains.

I've got a confession to make. All my life, I've had a soft spot for the bad guys. My favorite characters in movies and stories have rarely been the heroes. I'd find myself quietly rooting for the villains, baffled when they inevitably lost.

As we'll see, the line between hero and villain isn't as clear as we might think, and there's much to learn from those society labels as the antagonists.

The truth is, the line between heroes and villains is often determined by which side of history you're on. Everyone can be a hero from the perspective of the winner. Everyone is the hero of their own story.

History is full of examples of this blurred line. Take Genghis Khan, for instance. To the West, he was a brutal conqueror. But to Mongolians, he's a revered national hero who united…

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The essay's topic is controversial, and I wasn't sure if my perspective as someone in their early 20s would be valid. I've spent the past decade contemplating, writing, and editing. Surprisingly, the core value I expressed then still resonates with me today. After some thought, I've finally decided to publish it.

Love doesn't pay the bills, but it shouldn't empty your bank account either. It's time to rewrite the rules of romance and redefine what it means to "marry well."

Forget fairy tales. Smart women are writing their own happily-ever-afters.

1. Money matters. Financial compatibility is key.

When it comes to long-term relationship success, money matters. A lot. In fact, a study from Kansas State University found that arguments about money are the top predictor of divorce.

Another study by Ramsay Solutions confirmed these findings, reporting that money was the second most common reason for relationship conflict, behind infidelity.

Recent data from National Debt Relief reveals that 54% of people consider a partner's debt a valid reason to contemplate divorce. That means over half of us view financial compatibility as non-negotiable in a life partner.

Smart women know this. Shared goals and values should be a non-negotiable in every relationship.

Smart women know they need to find a partner who shares their attitudes towards earning, saving, spending and investing. They've worked hard to achieve financial independence and security. They refuse to tie their financial future to someone who hasn't done the same.

To make money is hard. To grow money is harder. To keep money is the hardest.

Smart women look for partners who have figured this out. They're not looking to be someone's mother or financial literacy teacher. They want an equal partner who has already done the work to become financially savvy and successful.

This isn't about being shallow or materialistic. It's about recognizing that financial compatibility is a key ingredient in a healthy, lasting partnership. Committing to someone who is fundamentally not on the same page financially is a recipe for constant conflict and resentment.

"Smart women understand that money is a tool for building the life they want. Because while love may conquer all in fairytales, in the real world, shared financial values are the secret to happily ever after. You can’t be happy without a roof over your head, food to eat, and clothes to wear.

2. It's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.

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When I was 17 years old, I used to work and study for about 20 hours a day. I went to school, did my homework during breaks, and managed a not-for-profit organization at night. At that time, working long hours landed me countless national campaigns, opportunities to work with A-list organizations, and a successful career. As I got older, I started to think differently. I realized that working more is not always the right, or only, path to success.

Sometimes, working less can actually produce better results.

Consider a small business owner who works nonstop. Working hard won't help them compete with their corporate competitors. That's because time is a limited commodity. An entrepreneur could work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but their competitor can always spend more money, assemble a team, and spend a lot more collective person hours on the same project. Then why have small startups accomplished things that some larger corporations couldn't? Facebook bought Instag…

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Time doesn't wait for anyone

If you're reading this in your 20s, lucky you! These are your best years. But heads up, a third of your life is already gone.

For most of us life after 70 is not even enjoyable anymore. I'm in my mid-30s, so half my life is over.

I spent almost 35 years experiencing poverty, losing a parent, fighting illness, battling depression, breaking up with friends, getting fired, failing at businesses, and watching my dreams crumble. I've done things that haunt me to this day and missed chances I'll never get back.

I've been broke, broken, and on the brink of breakdown.

All of these painful experiences, all of this suffering and struggle, have taught me lessons I wish I'd known decades ago. Lessons that could have saved me from countless sleepless nights, endless tears, and years of regret.

These lessons cost me half of my life. You only need to spend the next 10 minutes.

It’s a bargain.

Here are things I wish I knew in my 20s, not in any particular order.

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1. Everything is held together with duct tape

The perfect life you dream about isn't really perfect.

You gain some things, but you lose others. The key is to pick the trade-offs that benefit you the most.

Remember, everyone's making it up as they go along, just like you.

Life is messy. Accept that earlier.

Don’t waste time chasing the perfect life that doesn’t exist.

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My family's blue blood flows from Vietnam's longest-ruling dynasty. My great-grandfather, the country's first ophthalmologist, was shortlisted for South Vietnam's presidency. He declined, choosing instead to run the South's largest hospital. My other great-grandfather's wartime exploits even inspired a TV show.

Our wealth once matched our status. My great-grandfathers' houses stood in the heart of the city, neighbors to the United Nations office, embassies, and luxury hotels. My grandmother recalls each of her dozen siblings having a jewelry box filled with gold.

But war spares no one. By my birth, our old money had evaporated. We remained the 1%, but only in name and respect, not in wealth.

When Vietnam's economy opened, my parents seized the opportunity. They worked tirelessly to rebuild. Their efforts afforded me a privileged upbringing in a country still struggling to its feet. We weren't old money anymore—we were the new 1%.

Our fortunes shifted again with our move to Canada. Suddenly, we had no money. I went from the 1% to the 99% overnight.

What most people don't realize is that simply living in a first-world country puts you in the top 1% globally. It's a privilege we often take for granted.

Over the past decade, I've worked my way back to the 1%. This experience taught me a crucial lesson: with physical and mental health intact, I could rebuild wealth in any first-world country within a decade. Here's what I've learned:

1. Unlearn

The 1% often use education and media to control the 99%. The fewer questions people ask, the easier it is to control them.

My mother taught me to listen with two ears. "Let things come in one and go out the other," she'd say. "Don't believe everything you hear. DON'T TRUST ANYONE."

Always ask questions. Even when you agree with something, try to see it from another perspective. If you disagree, do the same. Don't just listen—think critically.

It's challenging, extremely so. You'll encounter messages tailored for the 99% and need to decipher their true meaning. You don't want to believe what the 1% want you to believe.

2. Never Stop Learning

The 1% knows the importance of knowledge. Used correctly, it's the most powerful weapon.

2.1 Read A Lot

My parents were frugal, but there was one thing I could have in abundance: BOOKS.

The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card. - E. L. Doctorow

By age 10, I was reading my parents' history, philosophy, war strategy, and business books. Everyone around us read a lot, and we picked up the habit naturally.

Don't just read for fun. Read to acquire new knowledge. Always ask questions and consider what you can learn from each book.

Don't just collect knowledge like baseball cards. Find ways to turn it into action.

2.2 Observe

Observing others is the best way to learn. Pay attention to how people think, behave, and treat others. You can learn more than you imagine.

My father would take me to important business meetings, treating me as an equal. He'd ask my opinion on multi-million dollar projects, pushing me to think critically and observe keenly.I watched how he negotiated, read people's body language, and closed deals.

One day, I asked why he never taught me directly. He replied, "What I can teach you, you already know. What you need to learn, you have to observe for yourself. That's why I bring you everywhere."

That day, I learned the most important lesson my father ever taught me.

3. Understand your relationship with money

Rich people aren't rich because they spend money all the time. They're rich because they spend money wisely and make it work for them.

Never let money define you. If you do, you'll only be worth as much as you have. I never knew how much my father made at his best. I only know how much he had at his worst. But according to his former executive, he used to make 50-100K a day.

One day during his best years, we walked into a supermarket, and my father picked up a $5 pair of jeans. When I questioned it, he replied it had everything he needed. That's how my parents live. They could spend a lot on important things like education but never on things we didn't really need.

They always said,

You can wear Hermès from head to toe and drive a Ferrari, but remember: the most valuable thing in that car should always be you. Your character, your mind, your potential - these are worth more than any luxury brand or sports car. Don't let the allure of expensive things overshadow your inherent worth.

4. Focus on solving other people's problems instead of yours

If you're the 1%, your problems represent only 1% of all problems in the world. By helping others, you're not just being altruistic—you're increasing your own chances of success. It's strategic empathy.

When people are burdened with their own issues, they can't focus on yours. I used to yell at people, but I've learned a better approach. Now, I ask about their problems and offer help when possible. I'm not nice. I'm pragmatic. I want people focused on what's important to me.

Making money is hard; keeping it is harder. Imagine tomorrow you're no longer in the 1% and your wealthy friends turn their backs. You'll need allies among the 99%. This isn't just about networking—it's about survival.

Be selfish. Invest in people. If just one out of a thousand people you've helped returns the favor, you've made a great deal. It's low-risk, high-reward relationship building.

My parents don't share inspirational messages. They don't sugarcoat anything. They taught me to help others to create a safety net when I fail. We're realists. We're selfish. At least we don't pretend we're not.

5. Work smart, work hard and stop complaining

My parents taught me to always look up instead of down. If you're content with what you have, it's hard to move forward. You need something to push you to work smarter and harder.

5.1 Work smart

Working hard isn't enough. There is no shortage of unsuccessful hard-working people. If you're planning to trade time for money, you'll never become rich. You need to figure out how to get the most out of the time you have.

It doesn't matter what you need to do - even if you have to lie, cheat, steal, or kill - figure out the shortcuts and the best ways to do things. If you can't find ways to optimize, you haven't thought about it enough.

Lie to yourself to get work done.

Cheat on everyone and yourself to achieve something bigger.

Stay focused. Steal knowledge.

Kill bad habits.

Kill your own ideas.

If you waste time with the wrong idea, you'll miss the opportunity to turn the right idea into reality.

5.2 Work hard

Working smart isn't enough. There are lots of smart people who work smart.

Some of the most successful people I know work crazy hours. They have more money than they can spend, but they still work a lot. They didn't get to where they are today by sitting around and waiting for luck.

5.3 Stop Complaining

If you're the 1%, people don't feel sorry for your high-class problems. Rich people problems are as annoying as poor people problems. The 1% often don't have the privilege to complain all day long like the 99%.

Because of that, they have to learn to zip their mouths and find ways to solve their problems. That's why they stay the 1%.

If you fail, at least you learn something.

If you just complain, you end up with nothing.

But there's one more crucial habit that truly separates the 1% from the rest - and it's not what you might expect.

If something doesn't work out the way you wanted, it's your fault because you did nothing to change it. If I tried to change it and it didn't work out, I haven't tried hard enough.

Always blame yourself. It's the best way to make yourself a better person. Always aim for better.

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On a random afternoon, a sick and twisted little girl decided that she didn’t have enough men hating her yet, so she tried an experiment on Tinder — inspired by a Medium post by Blake Jamieson. Seventeen hours later, she got over 2,015 Tinder matches. That sick and twisted little girl was me, now the most-hated woman in Toronto.

One of the biggest reasons why I am good at what I do is my lack of experience. I don’t know the rules, therefore I think there is no box, and push things beyond their limits. I do crazy things on various social networks all the time, to find loopholes and tricks. Some people call it “gaming the system,” I call it experimenting.

It was love at first sight when I came across Blake’s blog post. I sent him a message, and Blake encouraged me to run a Tinder hack myself.

I realize many men are going to get very upset when they read this article, and I am preparing to become the most hated girl in Toronto. If I don’t do crazy things, this blog wouldn’t exist. I told pe…

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