I often ask New Yorkers which decade was the best era in New York. Every single time, the answer is the decade when they were in their 20s. Most of the time, they don't even realize it.

I asked myself the same question.

My favorite time in New York was before the pandemic. People and things haven't felt the same after. Something is missing.

Then I realized my 30th birthday was a few days before quarantine kicked off. My favorite era of New York is when I was in my 20s.

This isn't just about New York. Ask anyone about their favorite decade in any city, and you'll get the same answer. The best time was always when they were young, broke, and stupid. There's a reason for that.

Your body hasn't betrayed you yet

In your 20s, your body is still on your side. You can drink until 3 AM, sleep for four hours, and somehow look decent at work. You can eat pizza for breakfast without your stomach staging a revolt.

Your back doesn't ache when you wake up. Your knees don't creak going up sta…

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Dear Unlearners,
Happy New Year from Toronto!

I just got home from an hour walk in -16C after my yoga class. My face is still thawing. But there's something about starting the year half-frozen that feels right. Like a reset button you didn't ask for.

I’ve been thinking a lot about fresh starts lately. Not the typical “new year, new me” stuff. Something deeper.

Every January, we make resolutions about what we want to do differently. Go to the gym. Eat better. Save more money. But we rarely think about what we want to tolerate differently.

And that’s the thing. The way people treat you isn’t random. It’s learned.

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I recently moved back to Toronto. Usually by this time I already have my travel for 2025 booked. But I cancelled them all instead.

I realized I need to build roots to scale. I need a routine I can’t negotiate with.

It’s not sexy. But it’s necessary.

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Dear unlearners,

Your friends cheered when you got a job.

They celebrated when you got promoted.

Then you started making real money. Suddenly, the group chat got quiet.

There's a hidden line in every friendship. Cross it, and the cheers turn to whispers. Your success threatens the balance.

When you level up, everyone else has to question their choices.

Your friend who stayed at the safe job for ten years? Your leap makes her wonder why she never tried.

Most friends want you to succeed within limits. Well enough to feel good about knowing you, but not so well that it makes them uncomfortable.

Real friends root for your growth even when it stings.

The fake ones say you've changed. You're lucky. You forgot where you came from.

They're projecting. Your success is a mirror reflecting their fears.

Don't shrink so they feel comfortable.

Keep going and pay attention to who's clapping loudest when you win big.

Those are your real friends.

The rest are just people who knew you before you became who you wer…

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We all run on stories. About who we are, what we're capable of, what's possible.

They feel harmless. Even motivating.

Most of those stories aren't true. Worse, they're excuses.

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Dear unlearners,

People use "alone" and "lonely" like they mean the same thing.

They don't.

• Being alone is a physical state. No one else in the room.

• Being lonely is emotional. Feeling disconnected even in a crowd.

You can be surrounded by people and feel completely isolated. You can be by yourself and feel perfectly content.

Loneliness comes from comparison. From scrolling through social feeds and believing everyone else is more connected. From assuming the couple at dinner is happier than you eating solo.

Aloneness can be freedom. Time to think without someone else's opinions. Space to create without judgment. Permission to recharge without performing.

Most people avoid being alone because they think it will make them lonely. They fill every moment with noise, people, distractions.

But here's the trap: if you can't be comfortable alone, you'll always be lonely around others. You'll need constant validation. Constant company. Constant proof that you matter.

Learning to be alone is the cure fo…

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Dear unlearners,

They see you launch your book and call it overnight success.

They missed the three years of 5 AM writing sessions.

They see your promotion and say you got lucky.

They didn't see the weekend projects, the extra courses, the networking events you dragged yourself to when you'd rather be home.

They see your business exit and assume you hit the jackpot.

They weren't there for the failed launches, the rejected pitches, the nights you ate ramen to fund your next attempt.

People love the highlight reel. The invisible work gets erased.

Here's why they call it luck: it protects their ego.

If you're lucky, they're off the hook.

If you're talented, well, talent is rare.

But if you just worked harder than everyone else?

That means they could've done it too.

And that's uncomfortable.

So they edit the story. They skip the boring parts, the grinding parts, the parts where you showed up when nobody was watching.

Luck becomes their explanation for your success and their excuse for their own inact…

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Dear unlearners,

Confidence and delusion look the same from the outside.

Both speak with certainty. Both act bold. Both think they'll win.

The difference? Feedback.

Confidence listens and adjusts. When reality says no, confidence finds another way.

Delusion ignores and doubles down. When reality says no, delusion says reality is wrong.

Confidence earns trust. People follow someone who adapts when things change.

Delusion burns trust. People get tired of watching someone fight unwinnable battles.

You need some delusion to try big things. Nobody starts a company or writes a book based on pure logic.

But if you never change direction, you're not confident. You're blind.

The confident person hits a wall and pivots.

The delusional person keeps running into it.

Confidence tests reality. Delusion avoids it.

One builds. The other breaks.

Until next time,

Cammi

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Dear unlearners,

The world isn't broken. It just values different things in different places

You're a 10 in your small town. Everyone knows your name. You're the successful one, the good-looking one, the one people point to.

Then you move to New York. Suddenly, you're a 5. Maybe a 6 on a good day.

Same person. Different pond. Different scale.

Every community has its own rating system.

Your hometown values being friendly and showing up to everything.

New York values edge and achievement.

Silicon Valley values innovation and network connections.

Your college campus valued being popular and fun.

Graduate school values being smart and curious.

The mistake we make is expecting our rating from one place to transfer everywhere else.

The small-town star thinks their charm should work on Wall Street.

The Ivy League graduate assumes their degree impresses everyone.

The Instagram model expects her looks to command respect in the boardroom.

It doesn't work that way.

When your rating drops, you have two choices.

• …

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Dear unlearners,
"Just be yourself."

Terrible advice if yourself sucks.

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Dear Unlearners,

Today is already September 2nd. I mentioned to a friend last night that Paris already looks like fall. There were so many dried leaves on the sidewalk even two weeks ago.

It feels like summer just started yesterday. We only have 20 days left before summer officially ends.

When I was 12, the last day of school felt like being released from prison. Summer felt infinite, like it would never end. Now summer starts and ends before I remember to buy sunscreen.

I spent my childhood wishing I could fast-forward to being an adult so I could have control over my time. Turns out, having control over your time means having no time at all.

when three months last forever

As a kid, summer felt like stepping into a different world. When school ended in June, I became someone else entirely. Summer me could stay up late, sleep in, and spend whole days doing absolutely nothing. Time moved so slowly it almost stood still. Then Labor Day weekend hit and I'd have to go back to being regular me a…

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I used to think everyone wanted to be successful. I was wrong.

After years of watching people: friends, family, colleagues, strangers on the internet, I've realized something uncomfortable.

Most people don't actually want success. They want the idea of success.

They want to fantasize about it, complain about not having it, and blame everyone else for why they don't have it.

But actually doing what it takes? That's a different story.

Understanding this changed how I approach my own life. And it might change yours too.

Mediocrity Is Actually Comfortable

Here's the thing nobody talks about: being average is easy. Really easy.

When you're mediocre, no one expects much from you. You can show up, do the bare minimum, collect your paycheck, and go home. No pressure. No judgment. No one's watching your every move or critiquing your choices.

You can blame your boss, the economy, your parents, or bad luck when things don't work out. It's never your fault because you never really tried.

…

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Dear Unlearners,

The economy runs on a simple equation: value for money.

But somewhere along the way, we confused scarcity with value. They're not the same thing. Manufactured scarcity is the artificial limitation of something that could be abundant.

• Limited edition sneakers made in the millions.

• Digital courses with "only 50 spots available" that cost nothing to reproduce.

• Countdown timers on websites selling information products.

These tactics work because our brains are wired to want what we can't have. FOMO is a biological response, not a rational one.

Real value works differently. It solves actual problems. It's worth more than it costs. It gets better with scale, not worse. It doesn't need artificial constraints to be desirable.

The luxury industry mastered manufactured scarcity long ago. A $10,000 handbag isn't 100 times more functional than a $100 handbag. The high price and limited availability are the product.

This makes sense for status goods. The problem is when we apply these pr…

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Dear Unlearners,

Your kids won't have the middle class life you grew up with. This isn't about being pessimistic. It's about being realistic.

Your kids won't be middle class.

Not because they won't work hard enough. Not because they aren't smart enough. But because the middle class itself is vanishing.

That story you grew up with? College degree, stable job, house in the suburbs, comfortable retirement? It's becoming a fairy tale.

Remember that neat little story? Graduate college, get a stable job, buy a house, save for retirement, live comfortably. That story just became historical fiction.

Here's what your kids are actually inheriting:

• A world where a college degree is the new high school diploma.

• Where starter homes start at a million.

• Where stable jobs are as rare as pension plans.

• Where automation eats careers faster than new ones can be created.

The math doesn't work anymore.

That monthly mortgage your parents handled on one income? Now it takes two incomes, three side hustles, and a pra…

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Dear Unlearners,

A rock is just a rock.

Until it's placed on a velvet cushion.

A chair is just a chair.

Until it's the only one in an empty room.

A signature is just a scribble.

Until it's the last one that artist ever made.

We think extraordinary requires special materials.

It doesn't.

We think it demands rare objects.

It doesn't.

We think it needs expensive things.

It doesn't.

Here's what it actually needs:

Space.

The courage to let something stand alone.

Substance.

Not the manufactured kind.

The true kind.

The kind that connects this thing to that moment.

Context.

A white wall.

A spotlight.

A moment of silence before the reveal.

Permission.

To stop.

To notice.

To wonder.

Most people try to make things extraordinary by adding.

More features.

More decoration.

More noise.

But extraordinary often comes from taking away.

Creating space.

Allowing pause.

Making room for attention.

A coffee cup is ordinary in a cabinet of coffee cups.

Extraordinary when it's the only object on a black table.

A pencil is ordinary in a drawer.

Ex…

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Dear Unlearners,

We don’t romanticize places. We romanticize the lives we think we could have inside them.

That’s the fantasy: reinvention. But with better architecture, cheaper bread, longer lunches. A soft launch of the new you. The kind of life where everything hard about you finally goes quiet.

I saw it again last week on TikTok.

A girl had moved to Italy and bought a seaside apartment for $40,000, less than a year’s rent in New York. The video lingered on lemon trees, chipped tiles, and a sunlit espresso on the balcony. The caption read: “Best decision I’ve ever made.”

I watched it three times.

Not because I believed it. Because I wanted to.

Why Do We Use Cities to Fix Ourselves?

Hope doesn’t need proof. Just good lighting and a European lease.

I spent ten years looking for a forever home. Paris. London. Barcelona. Summers scattered across Europe, trying to pass as a local. I kept hoping to land somewhere and simply fit. I never did.

I changed cities like outfits, hoping one would finally …

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Dear Unlearners,

Safety isn't free.

Each protective pattern you maintain comes with a price tag. And like all long-term debts, it compounds.

The emotional debt of staying quiet to avoid conflict?

It accrues interest in missed connections, lost opportunities, unspoken truths.

The social debt of keeping everyone at arm's length?

It compounds in lonely nights, shallow relationships, bridges never built.

The personal debt of playing small to stay safe?

The interest shows up as dreams deferred, talents hidden, stories untold.

We think we're being smart by sticking with what's comfortable. What's known. What's safe.

But comfort has a cost. And safety has a price. And both keep charging interest.

Every time you choose the familiar over the possible, you pay the tax. Every time you pick protection over potential, the debt grows. Every time you choose the old pattern over the new possibility, the interest compounds.

The bitter truth about comfort: The longer you stay, the more expensive it becomes. The…

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Comfort is where personalities go to die.

That might sound harsh, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. About why some people seem to have this magnetic quality that draws others in, while some of us feel... well, boring.

Comfort Is the Villain No One Talks About

I have a bad habit.

I catch myself judging people who don't work hard AND have a hobby.

Okay — maybe not if you're a doctor. But still.

Most people avoid pain. I tend to fill my days with things.

I work 10–12 hours a day. I walk 15k steps a day. Somehow I manage two clubs. Just added 20 hours of school a week — for fun. I don't say that to impress you. I say it because for me, that's normal.

And when I see people who seem content doing less — who choose ease, softness, or balance — my brain glitches.

Not because I think they're lazy or wrong.

But because it's so far from how I operate, I don't even know where to file it.

It's taken me a while to realize this:

You're not boring. You're just too comfortable.

And co…

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The biggest obstacle to learning isn't ignorance. It's the illusion of knowledge.

We don't start with empty cups waiting to be filled. We start with cups already full of ideas, assumptions, and mental models that may be outdated, incorrect, or simply not useful anymore.

Before you can pour in the new, you must first pour out the old.

The Problem With Your Brain

Your brain wasn't designed for truth. It was designed for survival.

It creates patterns, shortcuts, and beliefs that helped our ancestors stay alive, not necessarily understand reality. These mental shortcuts were useful for avoiding predators on the savannah. They're less helpful for navigating modern life.

The first step in real learning is recognizing that much of what you "know" is actually getting in your way.

What We Need to Unlearn

We need to unlearn that:

• Being busy is the same as being productive

• Credentials determine competence

• Failure is something to avoid rather than learn from

• Information is scarce and difficult to access

• More options lead to better decisions

• Money equals success

• Following the established path is safer than creating your own

These aren't just incorrect ideas. They're active barriers to growth.

The Hard Truth About Expertise

The more expertise you develop in a field, the harder unlearning becomes.

Experts often struggle more with fundamental shifts in their disciplines than beginners do. Their existing knowledge becomes a liability rather than an asset.

This is why industries are rarely disrupted from within. The experts are too busy defending what they've spent years learning to notice when the rules have changed.

When was the last time you questioned your fundamental assumptions about your work, relationships, or worldview?

Why Schools Get It Wrong

Our education system is built on the idea that learning is about accumulation—collecting facts, theories, and credentials.

But the most valuable skills today involve letting go: abandoning outdated information, questioning assumptions, and remaining flexible enough to adapt when evidence changes.

Schools teach you how to add. Life requires learning how to subtract.

The Unlearning Process

Unlearning follows a predictable pattern:

1. Awareness - Recognizing that a belief or assumption may be limiting

2. Discomfort - Feeling the resistance to letting go of familiar ideas

3. Curiosity - Opening to alternative perspectives without immediate judgment

4. Practice - Deliberately trying new approaches despite the awkwardness

5. Integration - Incorporating new ways of thinking until they feel natural

The hardest part isn't step 4 or 5. It's steps 1 and 2—becoming aware of what needs unlearning and sitting with the discomfort of letting it go.

The Freedom of Not Knowing

There's a strange liberation in saying "I don't know" or "I was wrong."

These phrases aren't admissions of failure. They're declarations of growth. They create space for new possibilities that certainty doesn't allow.

The most powerful learning happens when you're willing to empty your cup completely and start fresh.

Start Unlearning Today

Begin by identifying one "truth" you've never questioned. Something so obvious that examining it feels silly.

Then ask: What if the opposite were true? What if this belief is actually holding me back?

The path to breakthrough knowledge isn't through finding better answers. It's through questioning better questions.

Most education focuses on adding to what you know.

The most valuable education focuses on removing what's in your way.

Until tomorrow,

Cammi

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How To Read Your Way To Success - A No Bullsh*t Guide

Dear Unlearners,

The past week, I have been thinking a lot about lies that I tell myself. When life is stressful, these lies are instant comfort that shields me from harsh realities. They're the quick fixes, the easy outs, the soft cushions I fall back on when the truth feels too heavy.

But these comfortable deceptions are also the very things holding me back from growth, from change, from becoming who I might be if I faced reality head-on.

We all have that voice in our head. The one that whispers excuses, rationalizations, and comfortable lies that keep us exactly where we are. These lies feel protective, but they're actually invisible prisons we build around ourselves.

I've told myself most of these lies at some point. Maybe you have too.

1. "I'm too old/young to start something new"

Age is just a number, yet we use it as the ultimate excuse. History is filled with people who achieved greatness at every age:

Grandma Moses didn't …

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